the lion in winter

Gowns by…………………………………………Adrian
Bunzie:
Oh, no, no Adrian
not the silk, dear
please, that hairy
silk makes me look like a cello case.

Adrian:
Don’t you thing
I know hwow to dress
you bynow, you haridan in waiting
I’m doing this desing
for you in spiked linen, I alweady
told you.

Cecil:
(to himself)

God, who do we have
but the dead stars!
Garbo, who else?
Leigh, god who wouldn’t
Crawford, there’s always more
Deitrich, antifascist Nazi
Davis, elegant hysteria
Harlow, defines gravity
Bankhead, Mr. Woman!

Bunzie:
Oh, yes, you did say that
but I don’t trust you
but I’m stuck with you
because everybody thinks you’re
the best.

Adrian:
Suwe, Sura, petite
It’s all loves and kwisses on
the ass and hips, you can
almost hear the balls dropping!
nocque. By the way are you
going to Kitty’s tonight?

Cecil:
Oh, I could go on and on
Did I mention Jean, the singing Athena
Oh, are you listening fellows?
But don’t you see that
this dress is’t form fitting
in its present form, there’s a big difference

Bunzie:
Weill, I was going to
go
but I don’t have anything to put on
this shell of a body.

Adrian:
darling, do yew thing I’d leve ya in the lurch?

Cecil:
It’s what I live for.

Bunzie:
remember last time
I walked in that room and
it was like the the room dressed me.
what was it made of mercury or something

Adrian: (to Cecil)
Oh, delusion leads to seclusion
Yes, dear, thas is liquid plutonium on you
I lost my fingerprints for that dress!

Cecil:
As a matter of fact
you could dress the gods!
No do you think you
can find something for me that
doesn’t make me look like
Eleanor Roosevelt in drag?

Adrian:
Look that way for the answer.

Cecil: Hah, I remember that one from the Navy.

Bunzie:
Well, you gave this to me last year!

Adrian:
To throw away, ducky!

Cecil:
Attractive brute!
venal wench!

Bunzie:
You know you haven’t really done
your best work since Marcel died
I hate to say it.

Adrian:
Well, you could actually be right for once,
so write it down Cecil.
He was…well I have more time now to fuck it up.

Cecil:
You two were too too divoone
Everybody adored you both
You know this town was a lot more fun
with you two.

Adrian:
Yes, well, you know, shut up!

Bunzie:
It must have been devastating, darling
Catastrophic. I didn’t want to mention it.
How do you get through it?

Adrian:
By murdering Cecil later.

Cecil:
It must have been..well..just too too much
Don’t think about it darling.

Adrian:
Too late!
Yes well. You knew
when Marcel was on his deathbed he broke my
heart for the first time and I couldn’t
handle it when he handed me that check.

I nevwer knew whether
he said to get a headstone
or a stone as big as his head. Hah!

Bunzie:
Oh, the ring
that…I love that Gotterdamnering!
There, how do I look?

Cecil:
You’ve got to be kidding
is she Hitler’s maid or something?

Adrian:
Oh, she’s grand. Just grand.

Cecil:
I thought you clipped that beard?

Adrian:
Oh, she’s fine.

Bunzie:
I think so. I wasn’t going to
tell anyone, but do you know what happened?
I was arrested for drunk driving and they
threw me in the ….

Adrian:
Pokey?!

Cecil:
Slammer?Brig?Bighouse?Can?Hoosegow?Roundhouse?

Bunzie:
Pokey! I told them it wasn’t the booze but
the drugs and they just roughed me up anyway.

Cecil:
Well at least you were picked up.

Adrian:
When was the last time Cecil.

Cecil:
I don’t really remember. I think Salome was bartending!

Bunzie:
Boys, boys. Remember me.
Anyway I bought this this morning
in case you didn’t have anything for me.

Adrian:
I hate you, you know,

Bunzie:
You love me and that’s it. Anyway,
I bought this this morning.
A pastel pasley fabric weaved by imprisoned nuns
on the Barbary Coast. Isn’t it
just…

Cecil:
Yes, just..

Adrian:
What is that color? It’s like
vomity orange.

Cecil:
Impeach! Impeach!Impeach!

Bunzie:
Well I got it at Coco’s after all.

Cecil:
Big as a house!
I saw one of those on Devil’s
Island. From above.

Adrian:
No one over the age of
12 should wear puff sleaves or
florals unless you are dancing
Agnes’ part in one of her stupid
ballets.

Bunzie:
Well!

Cecil:
Well! well, what is
she wearing Adrian?

Adrian:
Oh, yes sourry darlings.
This is going to be magniviscenti
on you.
You are not even going
to be wearing that dreass
it will wear you.

Bunzie:
Oh, god, yes yes yes
Oh, I love you
darling Adrian
You are a god!

Adrian:
Dear Bunzie.

Cecil:
Alright. Halt. Basta. Don’t speak.

Bunzie:
Guess I’m off.
By the way…ah,
what is wrong with your voice dear.
If you don’t mind me asking?

Adrian:
Well, if you must know and I know you must.
I too recently spent ze time in the
how did you put it? pokey? myself….
actually it was more of a brig.

But that is too big a story for
such a little day.
let’s face it the men are impossible.

Well, maybe I tellya abat et with cocktails?

Let’s go for drinks?!

Bunzie:
Cocktails finally!

Cecil:

Coctailas, at last.

Adrian:
Yes, lovely get me a drink. Vokavater, mater’s ruin.

tbc

tbc