leave me alone, my head is swimming

Groundhogs and pothogs
Mounting evidence that Punxsutawney Phil smokes pot, since he stays in hole all year and may or may not see his shadow when he emerges from his lair. Smart fat rodent. Minds his own business and keeps his own winter hours. And everybody loves him.

Olympic champion Michael Phelps should take a lesson and not bend over backward underwater to apologize for smoking a bowl. Note to Michael: You are the best competitive swimmer in the world over two Olympics, how perfect do you expect yourself to be.

It would be unnatural for someone his age not to share a hookah or two. Besides, it can only relieve his OCD symptoms, so it should be medically available.