Cabaret

Tina get the Ax! & put a beard on it!

The mighty MQ chorus singing their anthem ‘Don’t Fuck With Me Fellas’ (photos courtesy of Beardeds)

Yes, Mommie, they are all there onstage- Boozy, OCD Joan, victimized adopted daughter Christina, faithful idol worshiper Carol Anne, the lowly housemaid Helga and Barbara from Redbook navigating wire hangers, lethal shoulder pads, Kabuki make-up & Joan’s Medussa-eye glares.

Philly’s premier cabaret troupe the Bearded Ladies will unveil Andy: A Popera, about Andy Warhol and his fab Superstar world, a collaboration with Opera Philadelphia, in September. Meanwhile, the Bearded’s unleashed Mommie Queerest troupe fundraiser at the Wilma Theater. It is their unhinged spoof of Faye Dunaway’s incarnation as Joan Crawford from the 80s camp classic Mommie Dearest. If you missed it last week, you can catch it Feb 2.

What’s scarier than one Joan stalking the stage in come fuck me pumps and a bejeweled turban? Two Joans. John Jarboe plays Joan (except when Dito van Reigersberg does some scene pilfering). When Christina (Dito in blond pig-curls) and Joan (Jarboe) tuck up in black and white one piece suits for the famous swim scene, things go even more haywire. Dito even has to curtsie in spike heals, not easy for a 6 ft 3 chanteuse with muscular legs, but his Martha training kicks in big-time.

In the famous scene where Joan strangles Christina (“Barbara please, wait in the other room) Joan asks Christina why she can’t give her the respect that any stranger on the street would and Dito turns into hair-raising blues vamp. “Because I’m not one of your FANS!”

Musical director Heath Allen has also riffed other instant Bearded classics from famous MQ lines– ‘Don’t Fuck With Me Fellas’ is turned into a rousing gospel tune and ‘No Wire Hangers’ turn is a fierce art song by a transcendent Jarboe that is this side of Benjamin Britten. Meanwhile the beefed up 12 member MQ chorus is truly fab.

Mommie Queerest may have been a fundraiser but it was no walk through, but as usual Jarboe can’t resist playing hard and loose with his own script, moments of diva bickering and fueled for round two.